How To Not be A Jealous And An Intrusive Freind
We have either been that friend or dealt with one.
“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
– Elisabeth Foley
People have layers to their personality, no one reveals themselves completely. We tell our stories to people differently based on our friendship with them, if you are a homie you will know all the spicy details if you are a good friend or an acquaintance or a colleague then you will hear the filtered version of it.
People don’t always tell everything to everyone, there somethings that they like to keep to themselves it could be their relationship or family. Nobody owes you an explanation about what’s happening in their life.
Sometimes when you see your friends moving forward in life, you tend to feel jealous may it be for their new car, promotion, or relationship.
Jealousy is an ugly emotion, as much as you wish to not feel jealous of your friend’s success the ugly truth is you are jealous of them, it is an emotion that no one can control. But don’t let this jealousy spoil your friendship.
As an extreme introvert, I would like to give you a few guidelines on how to not be an intrusive jealous friend.
Don’t Ask Too Many Question
Asking too many questions makes a conversation feel like investigation, you can ask questions but make sure you are not irritating them with all these questions. Ask about things that matter, that will lead you to have a meaningful conversation rather than asking a non-sensical question.
There are certain topics that they may avoid, don’t push them to open up about the said topics, sometimes people need to figure out stuff on their own before they can share about it.
Give Them Space
No matter how close you are to your friend, you need to respect their boundaries. But before you can do that, you need to realize their boundaries. you may share every detail of your life with them, but they might not. maybe they are not comfortable talking about their family problems or sex-life with you, rather than getting angry at them or making them feel guilty you should back off.
You need to realize that they are not as open as you, and that is not a bad thing. Some people are very private and they don’t like to share every little detail with someone.
Celebrate Their Success
Jealousy is a corrosive feeling, you will put your friendship in jeopardy because of it so if you don’t want your friendship to go down the drain then you will have to learn how to be genuinely happy for their successes. May it be a promotion or relationship you will have to keep this monster under control.
You may not know the difficulties that they have to face to come this far, ask them to learn how they got victorious because it can’t be just luck. Get inspired by them, celebrate with them like a true friend.
Use Your Jealousy To Be Better
If you want the things that your friend owns and the relationships they have, work for them rather than drowning in self-pity. Use this jealousy as fuel to get better in your work and personal life.
Try to become the best version of yourself, work hard, and enrich your relationships with positivity and abundance. If you see that they have something you desire you should be happy, its a sign its possible and that it will happen for you too.
Don’t Assume You Know Them
Just because someone opens ups to you and share their experiences with you it doesn’t mean you know everything about them, people share according to their comfort level, you might be more comfortable with them than they are with you, rather than getting offended by it, accept that they are a private person
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
– Muhammad Ali
Everyone needs a little privacy in their life. It’s bothersome when a friend tries to get to the bottom of the topic that you rather avoid, sometimes people don’t take the hint.
If you are this friend, please get better before you ruin your friendship, because good friends are hard to come by, cherish and support them.
If you are dealing with a friend who behaves like this then tell them you feel uncomfortable when they act a certain way. Be polite but also clear. Protect your boundaries and sanity.
