Do you wish to be validated by others?
What makes people weak? Their need for validation and recognition, their need to feel important. Don’t get caught in this trap. -Paulo Coelho
Why do I crave recognition from others?
Why do I need to be recognized by others to truly feel my own value?
Why do I have this constant need to fulfill other people’s expectations?
If you too have these problems, then my friend you are not living your life
Validation simply means getting recognition and praise from others for anything you do.
For example, if you were to pick up litter in your office, and no one notices or if they did notice and didn’t say a single word of thanks. Will you keep on picking up litter from then on?
Maybe not, as if no one appreciates what you are doing for them you may lose the motivation to do it.
This is the danger of the desire for recognition, most people seek recognition due to the influence of reward and punishment education.
It means that if one takes appropriate action, one receives praise, and if one takes inappropriate action, one receives punishment.
It can misguide someone into thinking if no one is going to praise them, they won’t do the right thing and if no one is there to punish them, they will engage in wrongdoings.
Subconsciously you already had the goal of being recognized when you started picking up litter, and when others didn’t praise you felt angry, and you decided to not do it ever again.
When we work hard to be recognized, it leads us to live a life of following expectations of other people who want us to be ‘this kind of person’. You throw away who you are to follow other’s expectations and remember this works both ways, as in other people are not living to satisfy your expectations.
The big question is do we really need validation?
One can live a life seeking recognition or one can choose a path of freedom.
It’s a good thing if you get recognition for your actions, but you should never do these actions for aiming for recognition.
Your motivation for doing good deeds should never be recognition from others because you can do the greatest deed ever but there will be someone who can criticize you.
You should be able to live your life without the compulsion for pleasing everyone you know because if you were to please everyone, you will lose yourself in the process.
Recognition or not you should always be motivated to do good for your friends, family, community, and your country. If everyone did their part this world will become a beautiful place to live in.
“The meaning of Karma is in the intention. The intention behind the action is what matters. Those who are motivated only by the desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do.”-Bhagwat Gita
So, live your life on your own terms and try to find validation within yourself.
